For decades I have been attending Slavas throughout our diaspora. Nice gatherings, good Serbian people, beautiful Serbian customs, I am proud that our Serbian traditions and our language are being used in order to prevent the influence of the foreign culture in which we found ourselves.
At every Slava, at every celebration, the good and well intending Serbs are accepting the kumstvo, adored in Serbian colors, sitting at the main table and making generous donations while receiving the applause from the people in attendance… And at the end of the event the local priest asks a volunteer to be the next year’s Slava Kum. And so forth and so forth.
That is all nice and fine, there is nothing negative at either accepting the honor, or giving accolades to the person called kum.
However, there is something not so kosher in the entire process, namely the fact there is no kumstvo in here because nobody is being wed or baptized. We are talking about being a host, domacin, a custom and a tradition centuries long by our Serbs.
I do not consider myself some kind of a great authority on the subject. There are some people, some theologians who should step forward and explain to the people what it is all about, but I have been waiting and waiting for decades, and these experts remain silent.
In his book “People’s Customs and Beliefs Among Serbs (Belgrade, 1985), Milan T. Vukovic says: “Every year a new host is being chosen for the Slava.
In the church magazine “Svetigora, Montenegrin-Primorska Mitropolia, in an article by one of the former Adventists under the title “My Life’s Journey”, even this non-Orthodox knows the difference between kumstvo and domacinstvo, when he says: “Here are the people with their priest , in front of the St. Sava icon cutting the Slava Kolach. (Obviously, we are talking about the St. Sava celebration). One of the parents of a student would accept the honor of the Domacin for the next year’s Slava.
Kumstvo is entirely different thing. By our Serbs this is such a serious matter that to break the tradition is considered to be a sin, thus the honor goes from generation to generation, and the Kum is so honored that there is the expression: “God and the Kum!” Kum is being seated at the head of the table, his advice is followed and accepted, and if something happens to the parents of a child baptized by the Kum the Kum becomes “in loco parentis”.
Just how much is Kum respected by the Serbs is best illustrated by the citation from the book of Dr. Lazar Milin titled:” Scientific Justification of Religion”, Book #6, in which he states among other things : “Among us Orthodox the Kum enjoys an exceptional honor … so much so that when passing the Kum’s house one takes of his hat, even if there is no Kum in sight”.
Being a host is also a very respectable duty, noble and dignified, so there is no reason not to accept this honor, even though you are not called Kum. Have we gone so far that our priests still ask for a Kum for the next year in fear that people would not volunteer if called the host. Are we using the tactics of the contemporary western business people just to enhance our financial bottom line? Why else would we still insist on using the word Kum when we know well that we should say host.
So there, I said my piece, as would say our great Njegos, and if somebody thinks he knows better, I am willing to listen.
